Jamming with Edward, or, The Confessions of a "Twilight" Virgin

See here. Boy, this Lautner fella, he's a real barrel of laughs, huh?

Comments

[Lex]

No, no... Use a pic of K-Stew!!!

If you didn't give this four stars, you should be banned from seeing movies. Goes for Glenn, goes for anyone.

[Glenn Kenny]

Aw, shit, man; missed by half a star.

[Lex]

It was a pretty good review, seriously... I have not seen it yet but I KNOW IN MY HEART this is a masterpiece. All the previous entries have been. I am mildly disappointed to hear there's no Dakota Fanning in it, which is odd, since she's listed on IMDB and was in the previous too.

Kristen and Dakota go together like the peanut butter and jelly of female hotness.

And not like I haven't penned 700,000,000 words about her all over the Internet, but I don't understand how Kristen isn't THE GIRL for every guy in the world. That there are guys who don't like her or her acting, it boggles my mind. I first saw her, like everyone, in PANIC ROOM and thought, "Hmm, who is this INTERESTING looking chick?" Then the Figgis movie, Undertow, some others...

Then one day in a haze I caught this cable movie called SPEAK, and my jaw was on the floor at both her talent and how she was, IN EVERY conceivable way, the most hypnotic and beautiful woman I'd ever seen... That was six years ago, and to this day every time I see her in anything I am blown away by her... I don't get it where other guys don't think she's beautiful or talented. I guess I have a legion of sexually confused teenage girls on my side on this, but Kristen is the greatest human being EVER.

Abraham Lincoln? I fucked him! Ohh!

[Asher]

Dan Kois: too smart for Twilight AND Tarkovsky.

http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-11-16/film/breaking-dawn-part-1/

[Glenn Kenny]

Boy, Dan really just has no damn idea WHERE his brow is, does he?

Also, sometimes I wonder if his whole career isn't some kind of elaborate OULIPO stunt, the constraint being that he has to mention what a GREAT DAD he is in every goddamn piece he writes.

[I.B.]

Marlene Dietrich directed by Von Sternberg was ABSOLUTELY the greatest female human being EVER. K-Stew is cute, moreso when stoned, but she still has to learn a lot about lifting/lowering eyelids.

I want to be reborn as Robert Mitchum.

[Oliver_C]

Kristen Stewart will *need* to be "the greatest human being EVER" if the much-belated, ethnically-cleansed version of 'Akira'* is going to end up as anything other than the next 'Dragonball: Evolution'.

(* Which should probably be renamed 'Archie' or something, if it's only going to feature an all-Caucasian cast running around New York!)

[James Keepnews]

"Yaw tearing me a-PAHHHHHHHT, Glenn!"

[jbryant]

Really surprised this got a good notice from Glenn and practically a rave from Dargis. For whatever reason, I was mostly bored by this one. Lots of talk. And I've enjoyed the other films to one degree or another. My gf is a total Twihard, but even she was disappointed, so my guess is she'll see this one only 4 or 5 more times. :)

Lex: Kristen looks awesome in the early going (especially in a white bikini scene), but for most of the last half of the movie she's digitally manipulated (settle down!) to look sick and emaciated. If you maintain your boner during those scenes, you are truly blinded by love.

[Shawn Stone]

At some point, in the middle of one of the films werewolf confabs, I found myself thinking, "wow, that Lautner kid is really terrible." Yet his character is still less annoying than those overdressed, prissy vampires.