So I'm in a Starbucks in the Times Square area trying to write my review of Water For Elephants and I see that they've started putting solid metal faceplates over what were power outlets, so you can't actually PLUG IN a computer while you're using their stellar free Wi-Fi. What I wanna know is, when is Jeff Wells getting back to New York, because when he gets a load of this, the result is gonna be something like Falling Down crossed with Hobo With A Shotgun.
And now you bring up Wells? And you have the temerity to talk about taking your own life? How do you think *I* feel right now?
Posted by: bill | April 20, 2011 at 06:06 PM
I bet silver dollars all those guys who go to Starbucks to write their screenplays and novels will continue to use their laptop, even if they can't plug it in. Because that's not what they want plugged, nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Posted by: jake | April 20, 2011 at 07:36 PM
All the cool independent cafes in New York and Starbucks? Wells, I understand, he's the Ultimate Eloi...
Posted by: christian | April 20, 2011 at 08:05 PM
I remember in one or more of Roger Ebert's yearly collections of reviews, he had an excerpt from an Ed McBain novel (the name of which escapes me) where the detective was taking a statement from a man who killed someone in a movie theater for talking during the movie, and the excerpt ends with the detective wondering if he would be able to write this up as justifiable homicide. I'd imagine Wells would be wondering that if he heard about this.
Posted by: lipranzer | April 21, 2011 at 12:35 AM
"Hobo stops begging, demands change".
Posted by: I.B. | April 21, 2011 at 05:51 AM
@ Christian: Well, yeah, but consider my geographical/temporal predicament: between screenings, one at 55th and Sixth, the next in the middle of Times Square, and I'm on deadline. I guess I COULD have hopped a subway and gone down to The Bean to work, but that would have been forcing the issue in a sense, know what I'm saying?
Posted by: Glenn Kenny | April 21, 2011 at 10:46 AM
I love that you have a "deplorable snark" category.
Posted by: Leila | April 21, 2011 at 01:33 PM
Now you've got me wanting to write 'Hobo with a Hissyfit'.
Posted by: Jeff McMahon | April 21, 2011 at 02:58 PM
Jes busting your balls a bit, Glenn. But maybe they blocked the outlets specifically because of Wells. "Oh shit, here comes that grouchy dude in the red NASCAR jacket..."
Posted by: christian | April 21, 2011 at 03:08 PM
In this coffee shop, you gotta get the latte first. Then when you get the latte, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the wifi.
Posted by: The Confidence Man | April 21, 2011 at 04:57 PM