9:26: Mulligan and Saldana. Wonder what Jeff Wells is up to...
The color on that clip from the early Hackford short made somebody ask, "Was that a porno?"
Colleen: "It's the show's way of saying, 'Don't worry, short film makers, somedey you might matter too.'" Nice.
Logorama wins Animated Short... Okay, I don't even know where my pool ballot physically IS any more. Anyway, I think I set a new record for early definitive no-chance-for-recovery loss.
Music By Prudence. I'm sure the winner of the Documentary Short is a dear film. Hey, is that red-headed woman actually involved in the film or was she pulling a Kanye?
The New Tenants wins Live Action Short. This room full of renters erupts in excitement. "The honorees look nervous, they're scared that woman's gonna run up again..."
Ben Stiller walks out as a Na'vi. "This seemed like a better idea in rehearsal." It's funny because it's true! And it's still not that funny.
Star Trek wins Best Makeup. The contingent of fancy boys directly behind me thinks that all the boys in that cast are hot and cute. So all right, then.
Ooh. Look how poised Kate Winslet is.
And he's The Dude, to flog A Serious Man. It's weird to see clips from this in this context...because they demonstrate just how utterly out of step the picture's style is from that of standard Hollywood product...
Lat's see what some of the other live-bloggers are up to...oh, wait, Dunkin Donuts is bringing back waffle sandwiches! Fuck yeah!
I almost didn't recognize Rachel McAdams. Adapted screenplay is now. They've got the stealing-chicken scene from Precious. How hard did the producers have to work to find a profanity-free clip from Loop?
Precious wins, providing a moment of triumph for...Lenny Kravitz. His first in a while, so give him a break.
A mockery of a sham of a travesty. Worse than the Boal win by several country miles. But the writer is very sincerely fer-klempt. And now the producers cut to every African-American in the audience, brilliant.
9:50: Latifah strolls out, looking great. Colleen: "Hey, they're playing the Designing Women theme!"
These two minutes of honorary awards are more edifying and entertaining than anything I've seen in the "actual" ceremony so far.
Bacall and Corman get to bow. From the audience. The perfect definition of fucking lame. Shameful.
Colleen: "And Miley Cyrus got to be on stage."
And...Best Supporting Actress. Here's the Mo'nique clip. I will love you, Mo'nique.
No, I won't.
Oh, good, Lenny Kravitz is excited again. "The performance...and not the politics."
Hey, what's the Dalai Lama doing sitting next to Tyler Perry?
Ooh, snap, Mo'nique. I just know as you look into the camera that you're shooting death rays at Wells.
Commercials. I really don't who's gonna buy a perfume called "Cervical Cancer." MLW: "At least they should call is 'CerCan' or something." I don't know how long we can keep this up...
Art Direction. Avatar. A survivor of a potentially terminal illness basically dares the orchestra to start up.
Hmm. Costumes. Looks as if Parnassus is gonna get robbed AGAIN!
Sandy Powell. Lot of awards, as Harvey likes to say.
Who else but Charlize Theron to flog Precious?
Ooh, a skit. Parodying Paranormal Activity. But instead of demons from hell..oh, never mind.
Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart, aka Tool Academy. Where the hell does she get off, looking like she just smelled Godzilla's worst fart? Around the room: "You don't wanna be famous? Then don't be famous."
I guess I just lost Lex G.
And here are a bunch of clips from a bunch of movies I've mainly seen dozens of times, you know, except for Misery and The Sixth Sense and that Twilight thing.
What, no April Fool's Day?
The Hurt Locker wins for Sound Editing. Hey, Rick Wakeman got an Oscar! Now, mixing. The thing that bores Sidney Lumet more than anything.
Locker wins again! "Bombs always win!" And James Schamus joins Rick Wakeman on stage.
Elozabeth Banks is pretending to be Rachel McAdams. Mongo confused.
And Hour Two is over!
I could listen to Carey Mulligan talk all day.
Posted by: TheJeff | March 07, 2010 at 09:33 PM
Well, the Oscars' just nosedived. But wait, it's Stiller. I hate Stiller.
Posted by: Chris H | March 07, 2010 at 09:39 PM
Not funny at all.
Posted by: Chris H | March 07, 2010 at 09:41 PM
I have no love for Precious, but I would have loved to have seen the look on Reitman's face just now!
Posted by: TheJeff | March 07, 2010 at 09:51 PM
Jeff Wells just threw up in his mouth a little bit.
Posted by: Sonny Bunch | March 07, 2010 at 09:52 PM
Lauren Bacall! In a car jam!
Posted by: Noam Sane | March 07, 2010 at 09:56 PM
Jeff Bridges plays an old drunken guy with a limp? What, did Kris Kristofferson take the year off?
Posted by: Noam Sane | March 07, 2010 at 10:00 PM
Wouldn't it be cool if they invented a TV that automatically went on mute whenever Mo'nique spoke?
Posted by: TheJeff | March 07, 2010 at 10:01 PM
I think Monique just gave the most self-aggrandizing acceptance speech in Academy history.
Posted by: John M | March 07, 2010 at 10:02 PM
That horror montage was both a non-sequitor and aggressively unimaginative.
Posted by: bill | March 07, 2010 at 10:25 PM
Is it me, or did they introduce the horror clip by saying horror had not been honored since EXORCIST, and then include SILENCE OF THE LAMBS in the horror clip?
Posted by: otherbill | March 07, 2010 at 10:27 PM
Um...no, I think you are correct. And is it just me, or did they pull that clip of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD from some Good Times public domain DVD?
Posted by: bill | March 07, 2010 at 10:32 PM
Ughh... cinematography award for someone who simply pointed a camera at a blue screen? Double ughh....
Posted by: Joseph B. | March 07, 2010 at 10:37 PM
"Ughh... cinematography award for someone who simply pointed a camera at a blue screen? Double ughh..."
Yes, well, I think it's a little more complicated than that.
Posted by: John M | March 07, 2010 at 11:02 PM
Leave Kristen alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cue agonized, shrieking weeping)
Seriously, I've been quite taken with her passive-agressive introversion since I first noticed her in In the Wild. She, evidently, don't give a damn about her bad reputation, e.g. when it skirts over into red-carpet charmlessness. Such unwillingness to play ball seems to come from an (ahem) authentic place that might also be contiguous with her talent. She can't exactly pretend to be Elizabeth Banks, as it were, much less less famous. Let's see how that works for her once the Twilonomenon dies down and she is. Less famous.
Posted by: James Keepnews | March 08, 2010 at 09:40 AM