Behold the glory of "clams hashed with eggs," as the recipe calls it. While you can't see the clams, rest assured I shucked 14 of them this morning, and they're in there. You do see the peppers, the sliced potatoes, the paprika, the Niman Ranch bacon. I always say, if you're gonna be a fat fuck, you might as well eat some interesting food whilst in that mode of existence.
So I guess you've all heard of that broad who bought that mammoth Julia Child book and made every recipe in it and blogged about it and now has one book out, another on its way, and had a movie based on the experience/book made by Nora Ephron with the super-cute Amy Adams playing her in it? Of course you have. MY idea is to do the same exact thing, only with The Nero Wolfe Cookbook, from which, yes, the above dish—which really was extraordinarily delicious—was prepared. Whaddya think? And the thing of it is, this old cartoon from The American Magazine does not lie—the recipes in the cookbook are plenty elaborate, with lots of opportunities for screwing up. I've gotten to be a fairly accomplished cook over the years, if I may say so myself—you should be so lucky to sample my lasagna, my eggplant parm, my beef-and-Guinness stew, my rye-bread-stuffed pork chops, etc., etc.—but I can still envision the comic possibilities inherent in the spectacle of my cleaning several pounds of pig chitlins for homemade corned-beef hash, or straining anything through cheesecloth. My brow gets a little furrowed even thinking about parchment paper, although My Lovely Wife seems to have little problem with it.
Does that sound like a particularly commercial proposition to anyone out there? And if so, who would direct? The obvious candidate, Marco Ferreri of La Grand Bouffe fame, is long dead, alas...
Why Campbell Scott, the guy who did "Big Night." Maybe you could even get the ghost of Louie Prima to show up.
Posted by: trooper york | October 17, 2009 at 06:03 PM
I think it would be much easier -- and more fun -- to buy all those cookbooks and eat your way through them after finding somebody else to prepare the meals. And then write about all the antiacids you took and all those supplications to the Porcelain God.
Posted by: Ed Hulse | October 17, 2009 at 08:45 PM
Jeez Glenn, I can feel my arteries hardening just reading about this.
Posted by: Lou Lumenick | October 18, 2009 at 03:10 PM
Extraordinarily delicious sounds appropriate after reading the ingredients. I've skimmed The Nero Wolfe Cookbook a few times, now I think I'll actually check it out if only to try the recipe for clams hashed with eggs.
Posted by: Sean | October 18, 2009 at 03:48 PM
I'd recommend putting a little more time into the photography.
Something about looking at someone's half-eaten brunch...just...doesn't sit right with me.
Posted by: John M | October 18, 2009 at 05:27 PM
I say get Nagisa Oshima to direct. I once saw him as a guest judge on Iron Chef.
Trivia: Campbell Scott's co-director on the great Big Night was Stanley Tucci, who co-stars in Julie & Julia.
Posted by: jbryant | October 19, 2009 at 12:14 PM
Looks yummy, I have read all the Nero Wolf books(as you might recall)I enjoyed reading about his dinners(prepared by Chef ??).Go for it, I'm sure your LW will enjoy.
Posted by: ATK | October 19, 2009 at 02:02 PM
The chitlins sequence will need to be presented in glorious (inglourious?) Smell-O-Vision. And the audience will react with more horror than William Castle ever provoked.
Posted by: Shawn Stone | October 19, 2009 at 04:56 PM
Yeah, Glenn.. you need to work on your presentation. As Rachel Ray says almost every show (in that annoying, near-baby-talk) "You eat with your eyes first!"
Personally. I eat with my hands first.
Posted by: D Vertino | October 21, 2009 at 03:55 PM