Crummy fags and subversive mothers

Miss America (Dagne Crane) serenades "traitor" Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen) and the jury in Bananas, 1971.

So I turn on CNN last night to have something to listen to while I cook dinner, and I swear to God that three of their correspondents or commenters or whatnot are having an incredibly earnest debate over whether Miss USA front-runner Miss California Carrie Prejean failed to win the crown on account of her disapproval of gay marriage, which was voiced in answer to a question on same. And I thought, "My God, is there no clean and pure and true aspect of American life that can escape the taint of the sodomite?" And then I thought, "Is this the 'Who GIves A Shit' segment of the program?"  I mean, seriously, does anybody know of a cable news channel that doesn't cover this kind of nonsense, and if so, can you tell me what service to subscribe to in order to get it?

In any case, the three commenters/correspondents seemed pretty het up about Miss California's being denied. On account, I think, of that she was so smokin' hot and vacant that she had really nailed what Miss USA was all about, so why should her opposition to homo marriage get in the way of that? Their resentment was such that I was waiting for them to break out into a chorus of that Electric Eels ditty "You Crummy Fags." 

Apparently the whole thing is Perez Hilton's fault. Hilton was one of the judges at the Miss USA pageant, and the question was his idea. I know, I know—Perez Hilton is judging beauty contests now; WTF? If you don't keep up with this sort of thing, it can really pass you right by. And if you do keep up with it, it'll eat your soul. No-win situation, really.

The whole thing puts me in mind of that classic bit in Woody Allen's Bananas, at the trial of New York nebbish turned Latin American dictator Fielding Mellish. Miss America shows up as a character witness, sings a little Cavelleria Rusticana, and lays it all out for the jury.

Prosecutor: Tell the court why you think he's a traitor to his country. 

Miss America: I think Mr. Mellish is a traitor to this country because his views are different from the views of the president, and others of his kind. Differences of opinion should be tolerated. But not when they're too different. Then he becomes a subversive mother. 

Comments

[Aaron Aradillas]

Yeah, but what was for dinner?

[J.M.]

Oh man, the fact that you mentioned the Electric Eels in a post about Miss USA just made my morning. I'm going to put them on right now.

[Glenn Kenny]

@ Aaron: It was a stag dinner (My Lovely Wife was working late) and it was South-Beach-Diet-ish in nature. And really, that's all ye need know about it. Really unexciting. Now if it had been a week ago, and I was making the Spanish-style shrimp pancakes, that would've been different. But there aren't gonna be pancakes for some time now.

[bill]

"Spanish-style shrimp pancakes"

Hah??

[Glenn Kenny]

@Bill: No, seriously. They're really delicious and incredibly easy to make:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/01/dining/01mini.html

But as I recently resolved to lose 50 pounds by my 50th birthday (August 8th), I'm not gonna be having those for a while!

[Steven Santos]

For all the accusations of ideological bias aimed at CNN, MSNBC, and Fox, I would say the one thing that bonds them together is their constant defense of self-entitlement for the privileged elite.

Millions of people are unemployed, but yet I'm supposed to care that some bubblehead from California was denied having a tiara placed on her head. Look like I have to break out the world's smallest violin again.

[Ryan Kelly]

I think the bias of the network news is overstated... it's not like, ideologically, they give two shits either way. It's all about filling market shares, so Fox panders to the right, NBC to the left, and CNN to the in-betweeners. The only station that has a vested interest in politics is NBC, since that particular company is run by a bunch of war-profiteers.

[bill]

Ryan - Then why do they pander to the left like that? What a bunch of crazy mixed up kids.

[bill]

Glenn - Well, crap, they sure look good. I have my own food issues, but the next time I want to splurge, and am feeling adventurous, maybe I'll nag my wife into making them.

[Ryan Kelly]

"Ryan - Then why do they pander to the left like that? What a bunch of crazy mixed up kids."

It's a more viable market share, would be my inclination. Why would (or should) they care about anything but making money? Ideology is more or less incidental to the news networks, was my only point. Plus, FOX seems to have the conservative base pretty much all to itself. Which is fine, they can have 'em!

It just bothers me when they (NBC news and its sister channels) would call former President Bush the "Idiot in Chief" on the air (regardless of how true it is or isn't, it has no place in a news broadcast), considering they were making a hell of a good profit selling our military $300 toilet seats and $500 hammers from Wars the 'Idiot in Chief' has started.

[Ryan Kelly]

P.S., Bill, I enjoyed your Serpent Egg's piece but would feel dirty saying so there, as I didn't get around to watching the movie (still haven't)! So, I'll just hijack Glenn's casa for your due compliment.

[Herman Scobie]

Woody also pokes fun at Miss America in Sleeper.

[bill]

Ryan - I had a whole response for you about the media and the left, but I couldn't make it sound the way I wanted it, and I'm tired, and it's time for lunch. So I'll just give you this one, I guess.

Also, thanks for the compliment. You can drop by anyway, you know.

[Ryan Kelly]

Give me this one? You and your competitive urges...

Enjoy your lunch, pal.

[Campaspe]

Glenn, did you notice that there are three (3) indignation-screeds about this on Big Hollywood's front page? I hadn't heard word one until I showed up to see if Robert Avrech or Nolte had posted again. Avrech has a nice piece on Lillian Gish, btw, where he talks about getting to see actual nitrate prints.

Anyway, to me the real story was the phrasing of her response, not the content:

"We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage."

What is this opposite marriage? Is it like Opposites Day, a proposed "third way," where Opposite Marriage doesn't require work-intensive stuff like fidelity and taking out the trash and arguing over who cleans up the puking toddler? If so, I think Miss California is a visionary who has indeed been treated unjustly by the Whoremeister Hilton.

If that's not what she meant, fuck her and the sash she rode in on.

[Glenn Kenny]

@Campaspe: I wish that was what she meant. But I think not.

Had she said "apposite marriage" I would have given her the crown on vocabulary points.

[Tess]

I wonder Miss California’s take on shrimp and pancakes being together.

[don r. lewis]

If you're low-carbing it, GK....drinks LOTS of water. I did that diet for a while and would have lost at least 20 more pounds if....well...lets just say eggs, cheese and meat.

And this Miss USA hullaballoo things is disgusting. Hilton's riding the pub like a 15 minute of famer on minute 14 and everyone's having a fit about....a beauty contest. I can't believe those things are even on any more. Plus, dude asked a question he wanted answered a certain way-and probably thought would get answered a certain way seeing as the contestant is from California and then could have a National platform- and got the opposite answer he wanted. And then ranted about it on his blog. Thta's just poor taste. But who can expect anything else from Perez Hilton.

[cadavra]

Well, her problem was not so much her bigoted answer as it was her utter stupidity in not giving a more ambiguous response to such a question from an obviously gay man.

[Nomad]

Perez Hilton makes a living off of destroying other people. He's a social parasite. For him, maligning Miss California is simply business as usual.