What do you do with a movie that no one in his or her right mind would pay money to see?

If you're Michael Moore, you give it away. But you pretend you're giving it away for altruistic/maverick-new-media reasons, not because it's a dog.

A rather credulous AP report by one Jake Coyle kicks off thusly: "Inspired by Neil Young and Radiohead, Michael Moore will release his new film online and for free." Later in the piece Moore is quoted to the effect that it's all for the fans and "a nice way of celebrating my 20th year of doing this."

Nothing in Coyle's report indicates that the film entitled Slacker Uprising had any history before this notice. That's some fine reporting there from the AP. Any idiot with Google would need about a minute and a half to figure out that Moore's giveaway is basically Plan B for a film that's been kicking around, distributor-less, for well over a year.

About 20 mins or so of what was then called Slacker Uprising Tour apparently ran as an hors d'oeuvre to Sicko at 2007's Cannes Film Festival. I missed that, 'cause My Lovely Wife was due to hit town at the same time as the screening. Priorities. I did, however, catch the completed work, with the more self-congratulatory (and hence, honest) title Captain Mike Across America, at the Toronto festival almost a year ago today. Here's what I wrote about it then:

A portion of this Michael Moore picture, then called Slacker Uprising Tour, was screened at Cannes as a work-in-progess on the same bill as Sicko. It is not apt to supplant Sicko, or anything else, in Moore's filmo. As an intertitle early in the picture admits, the movie is about Moore's "failed attempt" to save John Kerry from himself after Kerry's too-little, too-late response to his Swift-boating. For those who remain highly agitated by the results of the 2004 election, this picture, its upbeat "we gotta keep fighting" coda notwithstanding, might play as a particularly unpleasant bout of scab-picking (hey, there's an alternate title for ya). In the final weeks before the election, Moore toured multiple cities in multiple swing states, trying to get out the vote. And this film is, well, a lot of footage from that tour, mostly of Moore addressing mostly adoring audiences. (Advertisement for Myself is another potential alternate title.) The narrative, such as it is, gains interest as loudmouthed Bush-Cheney supporters infiltrate Moore's shows (although the laughs generated by some of these folks' dopey soundbites might have been heartier had the movie not kicked off with one Moore supporter calling Bush "the first non-elected president since the 19th century"—have our young people so soon forgotten Gerald Ford?) and various Republican interests are seen trying to shut Moore down. Until then, you can uncomfortably reflect on how a helluva lot of Moore's celebrity "special guests" are about ten years behind the zeitgeist if not more—Joan Baez shows up in the last third, telling us we need Moore because "there's no Dylan," which news might come as some surprise to the former Mr. Zimmerman, who I believe still does breathe. Also featuring Eddie Vedder covering a Cat Stevens song. Not, alas, "Matthew and Son."

Most of my critical brethren were more or less on the same page as I, although some were reluctant to admit it—it's that librul media bias at work agin, consarn it!—but even those able to muster some appreciation for the film were dubious about its commercial prospects, as it is, at heart, a 90-minute-plus promo for...Michael Moore. (Celebrating one's failure to get John McCain Kerry [good God, how was that for a typo?] elected is a piquant example of a certain fallacy in putatively progressive discourse, most recently manifested in the now-ebbing comparisons of Sarah Palin to Dan Quayle.) And now we see how the free market has worked its special magic—The Weinstein Company, whose logo was attached to the print of the film I saw in Toronto, clearly did the math and figured they couldn't afford another bomb, even one totally self-financed by its maker. Leaving its maker with the film in his lap.

I must admit, Moore's spin is pretty ingenious—and he's clearly counting on the idea that no one of his claque will notice that the film's already been scrutinized and rejected by a certain elite sector! As always, one has to give him credit for showmanship if nothing else.

UPDATE: Welcome, patrons of Dirty Harry's Place. Like the song says, "why can't we be friends?" Stick around—I'll be weighing in with thoughts on the Blu-ray discs of How The West Was Won and The Gauntlet—two movies all red-blooded cinephiles of any damn political affiliation should be able to agree on—in short order.

Comments

[MovieMan0283]

"Celebrating one's failure to get John McCain elected is a piquant example of a certain fallacy in putatively progressive discourse, most recently manifested in the now-ebbing comparisons of Sarah Palin to Dan Quayle.)"

I've read this over a few times and I'm still not sure what you mean. Are you saying that the media shouldn't be patting itself on the back for not sucking up to McCain? Or that liberals shouldn't? Or did you mean to write George Bush? Or John Kerry? Not to sound too critical; I've written sentences that make this seem like the pinnacle of clarity, but I am a bit confused.

Otherwise, "about ten years behind the zeitgeist if not more" pretty much sums up, if not Moore (he's about 5 or so years behind) than much of his coterie - what bothers me most about the American far Left these days is the fact that not only their ideas but their attitudes are mired about 40 years in the past (see "Recreate '68" at Obama's convention, as if it was somehow the moral equivalent of Daley & Humphrey during Vietnam). If you truly believe in the ideals of the Left, that's fine and it's you're right, but don't try to act as if you're supercool and edgy for doing so. Say what you will about the New Left in the 60s, it actually grew out of a real zeitgest and sensibility, and was not a complete contrivance bundled together from different "hip" sources. OK, rant over, for now.

Oh and would like to issue a mea cupla for a statement I made a week or two ago, when everybody was up in arms about Edwards' infidelity and the media's coverage. I said that McCain cheated on his first wife when she was recovering from a car accident, and he did so with Cindy. He actually didn't meet Cindy McCain until years later, when he and his first wife were supposedly estranged. Don't want to add to the gossip mill, so original comment rescinded.

[Glenn Kenny]

Holy crap, MovieMan, thanks for pointing out the typo. Of course I meant Kerry. To elaborate, it's bad strategy to pat oneself on the back for a failed campaign to get some traction for Kerry. And to compare Palin to Quayle is dopey on two fronts—first, the comparison itself is absolutely inapt as Palin is a pretty accomplished public speaker, and second, say what you will about Quayle, he and George H.W. won the election. Well, they won the first one...

[MovieMan0283]

I see - and am agreed on both points.