Scene From A Marriage

SCENE: Carroll Gardens, on an early spring afternoon.
CHARACTERS:
Glenn Kenny, hereafter referred to as "GK," recently deprived-of-steady-employment film critic.

His Lovely Wife Claire, hereafter referred to as "HLW," actress, administrative assistant, overall wonder of nature.

(As the couple stroll down Second Place, an SUV rolls by, blaring Thin Lizzy's '70s hit, "The Boys Are Back In Town.")

GK (nodding in nostalgic approval): Nice. Lizzy.

HLW: I always got them mixed up with Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

GK: Oh, no way. Totally different animal.
(unfortunately, he begins singing)
Friday night they'll be dressed to kill...
Down at Dino's Bar and Grill...
(ceases singing, furrows brow)
...because, as everybody knows, Ireland is replete with joints called "Dino's".
(resumes singing, alas)
drinks will flow and blood will spill,
and if the boys wanna fight you better let 'em...
(ceases singing again, thank the lord)
That part always bothered me. "Blood will spill." Okay, so blood will spill. But they follow it with "And if the boys wanna fight." When they say "blood will spill," don't you think that presupposes the boys are gonna fight to begin with?

HLW: Well, yeah, absolutely.

GK: It's like when the Butthole Surfers did that song "The Shah Sleeps in Lee Harvey's Grave." "There's a time to fuck and a time to crave, but the Shah sleeps in Lee Harvey's grave." I think when R.J. Smith reviewed it, he just said, "But?"

HLW: Well, in the case of this song, you know, it could just be that Dino, the proprietor of the aforementioned Bar and Grill, is a hemophiliac; hence, he's cutting himself all the time and getting blood everywhere as he goes about his business. And that's why, at his place, the blood will spill even before the boys decide whether or not they want to fight.

GK: I think you're on to something there.

(GK and HLW enter subway station, and, scene.)