So, I haven't seen Steven Soderbergh's Contagion yet, and when I do various and sundry ethical concerns will enjoin me from officially commenting on it (most of my sources, including but not limited to a co-screenwriter of Ocean's 13 and The Girlfriend Experience, for what it's worth, assure me that it's real good), but I have seen the trailer; saw it almost the minute it went up last night in fact, and it's creating quite a "buzz" on the internet, largely because various and sundry smart alecs are having a time rejoicing over the fact that the trailer reveals that one of the film's big-ticket stars buys it in the movie. EW.com's Anthony Breznican sums it up in typically pithy EW.com fashion, complete with obligatory tired South Park reference, here. I don't know what Gwyneth Paltrow ever did to engender the hostility of internet smart-alecs everywhere, and too bad for her, I guess; what irks this observer is the fact that all these yo-yos seem to be under the impression that it's unbelievably clever and incisive and witty to make some remark about how that health smoothie Gwynnie was flogging on her snooty website couldn't save her from the deadly virus that apparently rampages through the whole world in this picture, ar ar ar. I probably don't need to point out that every individual who makes a variation of this joke appears to be under the impression that he or she is the first individual on the planet to have come up with it. I'd say "try harder," but honestly, I'd rather the attempt not be made at all. People need to let off steam? That's what gyms are for. Also, again, what did Paltrow ever do to you?
Time, then, to break out the immortal panel from Drew and Josh Alan Friedman's immortal "Marnin Rosenberg In Bad Luck With Women" (collected in the great Warts and All). I usually deplore the Rosenberg "straighten you out" tendency, which is cropping up more and more often in what passes for film criticism these days (see Sam Wasson's recent unholy piece on Terrence Malick and The Tree of Life in LA Weekly, and no, I ain't linking to that mess), but that isn't to say that I don't sometimes understand it. Yeesh.